bakiwop is the New York Times best-selling, Pulitzer and Nobel Prize winning, internationally acclaimed author of:
- 33 Ways to Travel on 34 Dollars a Day in Mgabwa National Park and Tannery
- Tramping and Vamping (Re: Replacement of the Shoe Covering of the Forefoot, not the Sucking of Blood to Feed The Unholy Undead and not the Use of Seductive Wiles) through Transylvania, Maramures, Crisana and the Romanian Banat
- A Brief and Hurried Discourse on the Three-Toed Sloth
- Billy-Bob Thornton, A Retrospective
- One Hundred Thousand Million Billion Trillion Things More Interesting than Blogging – the Beginnings of a List
Born at a young age, bakiwop was raised on a banana plantation in Betws-y-Coed, Wales where, at the age of 13, he was sold into the French Foreign Legion so his parents could repay a debt owed to the Svenska Sjukdom – a notorious Swedish mobster family. In the Legion he trained as a field correspondent, writing over 350 stories for The French Foreign Legion Weekly Shopper and Jumble until being dishonorably discharged 5 years later for not being able to speak or write a single word of French.
bakiwop worked his way east through the Eurasian continent, eventually making his way to Afghanistan and finding a job as a brothel correspondent for the Kabul Daily Weekly Monthly Yearly. It was during this time he met Angélíná Mólíná Chíqúítá Álónzó Rúdólphó Cúérvó DósÉqúís Márqúéz, a Mexican prostitute from Chihuahua who was in Kabul for a semester of study in the foreign exchange program.
The two fell deeply, madly, head-over-heelsy in love.
bakiwop and Angélíná Mólíná Chíqúítá Álónzó Rúdólphó Cúérvó DósÉqúís Márqúéz still happily call Kabul home. They live off the modest income he makes as a writer, the immodest income she makes as the Director for the Kabul/Chihuahua Foreign Exchange Program and the obscene 9 figure settlement they received from the U.S. government for the bombing to smithereens of their first, much simpler, house.
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